Meeting Your Needs AND Theirs... (It's Possible)

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KEY TAKEAWAY

Addiction distorts future thinking; prioritising personal needs helps create long-term stability.

"So, what are you planning for next year?..."

(Me internally thinking "...How can I plan anything when I don't even know what tomorrow looks like?")

Addiction does something specific to how we think about time...


We all have a need for certainty, and holding off until things settle, can help curb anxiety in the short-term.

But, there IS a way to make decisions that hold good for the long-term.

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My gran used to say, "Don't put your life in someone else's pocket." She wasn't talking about addiction, but it fits.

Some things genuinely can't move forward right now, that's true.

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But some things can:

- Signing up for a class or course, dates pre-scheduled.

Note to self: my needs and desires still matter.

- Arranging a weekly coffee, walk, or phone call with a trusted friend or relative who understands what you're going through.

Note to self: getting that external perspective outside this situation, reminds me I'm already helping enough.

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Set 5 minutes aside each day to acknowledge effort, not just results; practice turning "must" statements into "...if I can".

Note to self: because I need to remember what realistic standards feel like.

Pre-scheduling in this way works because:

When we have a pre-determined appointment, we have to consciously work other things in life around it.

This positively reinforces the importance of your needs, at an unconscious level.

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Start with one item that is entirely for you, and make it a priority this week.

You don't need permission to make future plans, and it IS possible to move forward with your life AND care for them.


Take care of yourself.

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About the author

Mischa Ezekpo

Mischa Ezekpo has a Bachelors degree in Psychology from Northumbria
University, and a Masters degree in Childhood Development and
Wellbeing, from Manchester Metropolitan University. Since 2018, Mischa
has written and published work on Addiction, Mental Health, Depression, and Eating Disorders. Content reviewed by Laura Morris (Clinical Lead).

Last Updated: May 12, 2026