KEY TAKEAWAY
Finding liberation in honesty: reaching out breaks the cycle of isolation.
Dear Diary,
Today, I smiled at the neighbours again.
When they ask how family are, I laugh off the chaos, and we all carry on as normal...
It's hard to explain how difficult this is, maintaining a secret that mostly everyone knows by now.
I've started going to a Al-Anon meetings.
I didn't feel ready, but it was getting too much.
I needed to be somewhere with people who just... get it.
And being there, in that room where I didn't have to hide anything... it just feels liberating.
It doesn't need to give me all the answers, but at least I don't have to pretend everything is okay.
It's taking me time to absorb the idea that I'm not alone in this... others are having the exact same experience.
I'm also trying to stop smoothing things over with everyone in my life.
I don't have to broadcast everything that happens, and I don't think I could do that right now anyway.
The meetings are helping.
I'm learning I can't make anyone accept help. Not even myself.
But I've done the hard bit now - reached out for help.
I'm sad, I'm exhausted... but now I have my own recovery to take care of.
And now I know... I'm not alone.
