Alcoholism is a disease characterised by continuous heavy drinking. Until people with alcohol use disorder admit to problems with alcohol and stop drinking, the risk of alcohol use disorder continues which affects both physical and mental health.
Alcohol starts to injure the brain once it reaches the bloodstream.
Excessive consumption can lead to Alcohol-Related Brain Damage, or ARBD, which is a type of brain disorder caused by alcohol consumption. Brain shrinkage caused by alcohol abuse is permanent, as alcohol kills brain cells and grey matter.
For more information and effects click ‘Learn More’.
Family Recovery Compass is a newsletter for friends and family members who feel trapped between supporting a loved one in addiction, and protecting their own wellbeing.
Every week, we tackle one specific situation in addiction family dynamics, and deliver practical decision-making frameworks and exact dialogue scripts – that help you respond with confidence instead of reaction.
Every month, we bring you an unfiltered recovery conversation with someone who’s either experienced addiction firsthand, or works closely with those in recovery.
No sanitised success stories – just practical insights on what actually works in recovery, that you can apply, in your life too.
Recovery capital is the internal and external resource used to begin the recovery process and maintain sobriety. This combines personal, social, and community support to provide a joined-up approach that supports the addict through recovery.
Do you or a loved one need addiction treatment for alcohol or drugs? Thousands blindly walk into addiction treatment in expensive rehab centres and find that the reality doesn’t meet expectations.
If you’re considering rehab treatment, first check our ultimate guide for complete instructions on how to find the right rehab centre for you.
Take-home Naloxone kits help families and loved ones respond quickly in an opioid overdose emergency, until emergency services arrive. Kits contain nasal or injectable forms of Naloxone.
Changes in legislation mean Naloxone kits are now more widely available from pharmacies and drug services, including Abbeycare.
For additional information, click ‘Learn More’ below.
Overcoming alcohol addiction means first ceasing alcohol intake, and taking care of physical and chemical withdrawal symptoms.
Detoxing from alcohol means undergoing withdrawal from alcohol, but with the assistance of prescribed medication and detox phase, to substitute in place of the alcohol itself.
Alcohol rehab focuses on tackling the problems underneath alcoholism, such as grief, trauma, depression, and emotional difficulties, in order to reduce continuing drinking after treatment.
Inpatient services at an alcohol rehab programme provides 24 hour access to specialist care.
Alcohol home detox provides a means of semi-supervised addiction treatment in the comfort of your home. It’s often suitable for those with inescapable practical commitments, or where a reduced budget for treatment is available.
An at-home detox is the most basic detox option available from Abbeycare, and assumes you have support available, post-detox, for the other important elements of long-term addiction recovery.
The term alcoholism refers to the consumption of alcohol to the extent that the person is unable to manage their own drinking habits or patterns, resulting in side-effects that are detrimental to the quality of life and health of the alcoholic, or those around them.
An alcoholic is someone who continues to compulsively abuse alcohol in this way, despite the negative consequences to their lives and health.
Immediately following treatment, the early stages of recovery and abstinence are most vulnerable to lapses.
At Abbeycare, a structured and peer-reviewed aftercare plan is usually prepared whilst still in treatment. This comprises social, peer, and therapeutic resources individuals draw upon, following a residential treatment programme for drug or alcohol misuse.
Clinically managed residential detoxification is:
– A structured detox that uses medication-assisted treatment and regular physical health observations
– Takes place in an inpatient rehabilitation unit or hospital
– Typically lasts from 7-10 days, but in Abbeycare, it is incorporated into a 28-day rehab programme
Family Therapy at Abbeycare Scotland or Gloucester is realistic, compassionate, and appropriate for families and loved ones of addicts.
Family therapeutic interventions in residential rehabilitation have been designed to support those living with or caring for participants entering the Abbeycare Programme.
Support for families in a group setting allows for a safe, constructive, and confidential place to listen and share common experiences.
Inpatient rehab is drug and/ or alcohol treatment in a rehab centre, where patients remain on-site for the duration of inpatient rehabilitation.
It includes detoxification from drugs, therapy (group work and 1-2-1 sessions), and aftercare planning. Inpatient rehabs typically last 28 days, but this varies on an individual basis.
Long-term treatment at Abbeycare has been developed for those suffering from alcohol or drug addiction. Completing a long-term drug and alcohol inpatient programme may be the solution to problematic substance use.
Motivational Enhancement Therapy can be used by trained addiction recovery therapists to elicit internal changes within and promote long-term recovery from substance use disorder.
All the answers to addiction can be found within with this comprehensive and successful therapy concept leads to behavioural changes, reflective listening, self-motivational statements, and a comprehensive recovery process.
Outpatient drug or alcohol rehab is daytime treatment as opposed to living in a treatment facility.
Outpatient treatment is similar to inpatient in terms of the methods used to treat substance abuse. Where they differ is in their approach to recovery.
Abbeycare’s prison to rehab is a 12-week structured rehab programme which involves direct transfer from prison. The suitability of the candidate is decided by prison staff.
Short-term residential treatment programmes are the chance to press the reset button and access a therapeutic programme designed to create recovery from the use of alcohol and drugs.
Feeling stuck in a rut. Want to stop but can’t seem to achieve sobriety?
Click below.
The 12-step programme was created by alcoholics anonymous (AA), and is specifically designed to aid addicts in achieving and maintaining abstinence.
The central ethos behind the programme is that participants must admit and surrender to a divine power to live happy lives. Ideas and experiences are shared in meetings, and help is sought in an attempt to achieve abstinence.
Abbeycare’s policy to respect your privacy and comply with any applicable law and regulation regarding any personal information we may collect about you, including across our website and other sites we own and operate.
Alateen - for 12 to 17-year-olds - telephone 020 7593 2070 [6]
The Children's Society - online advice and links to local groups - website www.childrenssociety.org.uk/information/young-people [7]
National Association for Children of Alcoholics - can be accessed by adult children of alcoholics - telephone 0800 358 3456 - email helpline@nacoa.org.uk - website www.nacoa.org.uk [8]
All behaviours of collusion with the alcoholic, that service active addiction, should be avoided.
Behaviours to avoid engaging with include:
Bargaining behaviours
Appeals for sympathy
Deflecting blame
Keeping secrets
Rationalising drinking
Promising to control drinking
Avoiding these behaviours reduces family members' future suffering and helps when dealing with the drinker in day-to-day life because:
Removing the cycle of bargaining and discussion removes the drinker's ability to exhaust the family member into giving up protects the family member's emotional wellbeing
Family members are not in a position to help the alcoholic when suffering themselves - including going into debt or taking on stressors on behalf of the drinker.
Become Non-Reactive
Being non-reactive to the alcoholic's behaviour means:
Not shouting when frustrated - indirectly breaks the pattern of the alcoholic's behaviour being affected by the families' behaviour
Maintaining a sense of routine separate from the drinker and not allowing this to be interrupted - sends an underlying message to the alcoholic that the family cannot be manipulated
Not trying to control drinking habits - the alcoholic stops looking for a reaction from the family from drinking, and begins to take responsibility for their own behaviour
Being ambivalent to extreme emotions or mood swings from the addict - discourages co-dependent patterns
Understand The Underlying Intention
Separating the alcoholic's behaviour, from the underlying intention, can help families alter the meaning of the behaviour, for example:
Understanding that the alcoholic is only motivated by maintaining alcohol as a coping mechanism - aggression, emotional instability and lies are not intended to upset loved ones personally
Realising that, as the drinker has unconsciously decided that alcohol is the only means to cope with life, they are heightened to any behaviours, events or statements that could result in the loss of alcohol, including family intervention [15]
Understanding that addiction is both physical and psychological, meaning that cravings are extremely powerful and drinkers have no control over them
Understanding that, if the alcoholic sees you as preventing them from drinking, they may say personal or offensive things to alienate the loved one, in order to maintain access to alcohol
Being aware that alcoholics will use any effective behaviours to keep drinking - it is important not to associate stereotypically nice behaviour with the alcoholic being sober as this can be manipulation
Set Expectations And Reset Boundaries
Families can set expectations and change boundaries with the alcoholic by:
Making expectations clear - how is life supposed to look, sound and feel when expectations are met? - having clear expectations ensures the family members maintain boundaries until expectations are met
Setting timelines for expectations, and stating the consequences of relapsing or continuing drinking - breaks the cycle of attempts to manipulate families' behaviour or resources
Following through with the consequences immediately after a relapse - allowing the alcoholic to continue their behaviour without consequences will exacerbate issues for the family in the long term
Doing odd things at normal times and normal things at odd times - this helps communicate to the alcoholic the underlying subtext that things have changed, and expectations are changing also - not allowing co-dependency to develop
Setting appropriate and realistic expectations - taking into account the alcoholics' current addiction level before setting goals
Creating an environment where it is possible to learn the consequences of drinking and where reaching out to external sources of support is encouraged
This reduces the frequency of family members prompting the alcoholic to get help, with no real action being taken or recovery being sought.
Reinforce Positive Attempts For Help, Avoid Criticism
Reinforcing positive attempts to get help supports families of alcoholics as:
Praising positive attempts to seek help is more likely to result in the alcoholic actually seeking help
Criticism from families mirrors the alcoholic's inner thoughts, leading to negative beliefs being upheld and alcohol continuing to be a coping mechanism
Alcoholics will use criticism as an excuse, and blame the family for causing drinking [16]
Be Consistent
It is important to remain consistent in the above actions so that:
The alcoholic learns that boundaries are not negotiable and stops testing them
Whilst emotionally painful in the short term, being consistent with the above actions is more likely to result in the alcoholic seeking, and maintaining, long-term sobriety.
Stating a potential consequence, and not following through, should be avoided, as the alcoholic will conclude that boundaries can be ignored.
Provide Resources First
For any coping mechanism to be successfully taken away, it's best to:
First, establish what the coping mechanism is doing for the alcoholic
Provide another successful coping mechanism (better resources) before alcohol itself can be taken away
Approaching alcohol use disorder in this way supports families because:
Once a successful alternative coping mechanism is put in place, the alcoholic is more likely to want to seek treatment independently
The underlying need that alcohol was previously fulfilling, is now being fulfilled in a different way. Meaning, there is no reason not to seek help for the physical symptoms of alcohol use disorder.
Intervention
Perceived Authority Of Third Party
An intervention delivered by a professional third party, who is not a family member, is likely to be more impactful than routine feedback or criticism from within the family itself.
Experience & Expertise
Family members may not recognise the more subtle behaviours of addiction, that only an intervention professional with substantial experience can ascertain and hold the individual accountable for.
Impartiality
Family members may not feel comfortable expressing their grievances about a close family member. Whereas, a third party is dissociated from these ties, and can voice concerns without hesitation.
Dealing With Stigma
Family members suffering stigma as a result of family members' alcohol use can seek therapeutic help to:
Reframe experiences of prejudice associated with a family member in active addiction
Reframe the meaning of others' behaviour - are they reacting from prejudice, or a lack of knowledge on alcohol use disorder?
Use an internal frame of reference instead of external frame of reference to change the meaning of criticism
Understand that others' external reactions are not always a true reflection of internal thoughts
Understand that pre-existing fear of others' judgements, may result in perceiving stigma from others which has not actually occurred in the external world.
Support For Family Of Alcoholics Does NOT Mean
Sacrificing own needs for the alcoholic - It's easy to conclude that giving up money, time, or resource to support an alcoholic family member through difficulty will result in less stress later. This is almost never true; assisting the alcoholic is more likely to lead to co-dependency.
Rationalising the alcoholic's behaviour - Well-meaning friends may attempt to normalise the alcoholic's intake or behaviour, in an attempt to help the family member feel better. In reality, this results in increasing denial in the family member, and delays attempts to truly help the alcoholic address their addiction.
Unsolicited advice - Friends may strongly advocate the family member follow specific advice to "fix" the alcoholic. This advice is normally misguided, as it does not take account of the underlying beliefs and drivers behind the addiction.
About the author
Harriet Garfoot
Harriet Garfoot BA, MA has an Undergraduate degree in Education Studies and English, and a Master's degree in English Literature, from Bishop Grosseteste University. Harriet writes on stress & mental health, and is a member of the Burney Society. Content reviewed by Laura Morris (Clinical Lead).
